He's also updated us on a cunning new breed of squaddie that the British Forces are deploying over in Afghanistan. The NUMPTY. They can be absolutely lethal when life gets dull in the desert.
The Taliban are notoriously difficult to capture and identify. Quite often they will wear the same outfit and pretend that they're not who they say they are. This is a masterful enemy. Latest pictures captured below of their headquarters show they're no longer there. It's just lots of bushes.
The Army have a system used in Helmand province for capturing people's biometric data. It's essentially the military's equivalent of a big digital camera with a large view screen. It allows them to pass an individual's fingers over the screen to get prints, use the lens on it to get an iris scan and then there is some DNA capture nonsense. Due to spending cuts the British version is not as sopisticated as the American model. See below for the current British equipment.
Due to fears of an Orwellian society emerging in Afghanistan, where women wouldn't be allowed to go to school or show their faces, the Army have to have a fairly good reason to capture someone's biometrics. Once their details get added, they are placed on a watchlist for the rest of their lives and all sorts of secret service bods get incredibly excited. So, we're really talking bomb-making suspects, smugglers, guys with weapons etc ...
Cue the British squaddie who decided to enter himself on to the system. Photo, prints, iris scan ... the whole thing. Reason that he entered for capturing the data: "He's a dodgy c**t!"
Unfortunately the cheeky young squaddie is consequently now banned from travelling to most Western countries. Perhaps better to build a sand castle next time you're bored in the desert, eh?
